I'm so sad

I'm so sad , the house that I have loved for the last ten years has been lost to us. We moved back from California when my husbands job closed last year, we had hoped that he would find a new job somewhere in the country and the kids and I would stay here while he went off to work. I would have been fine with this as moving to California had not been the joy we were had expected it to be and we were now heavy in debt. But he has yet to find a job after a year and a half. It is hard to imagine that there is not a job somewhere in this big country of ours, but we haven't found it. We are not being picky either, he has went on a couple of interviews but to no avail. So now we will be moving this weekend, as the new bank that bought the house did not want to work with us. They would not even talk to us, they just served us an eviction notice.

So again I have not done any sewing and have instead packed it all away for the move. I am going to unpack it and set it up right away, but I do not know if I will feel like sewing or not. I am just trying not to get depressed about this and hope that this is all part of a bigger plan for my life, but right now it just feels rotten. This is the house that I had told my husband when we lived in California and he wanted to get rid of it, I would divorce him first before I gave up the house. I know you will say but it is just a house, but this is my house, I had another house when I meet my husband, and sold it after we got married because it was too small and he promised that in time we would buy a house together. This I did and three years later we bouhgt this house. This is the house I bought my children home to from the hospital, this is the house where I started on my road to volunteerism, signing up for the association board, helping out in the neighborhood and just enjoying sitting on the front porch at night or the back porch while the kids played in our park that backed to the house.

I started many of the current fun familyactivities that my neighbors now enjoy in this subdivision like Easter Egg hunt in the park, the annual Christmas lighting contest of which after the first year I started this, our city government took my lead and expanded the contest to the whole city. I start the first neighborhood caroling, and at Halloween my neighbors would welcome a nice tall cup of warm apple cider during their walks with the trick or treaters.

I will miss sitting by the pool on warm days and enjoying nice parties for the kids and their friends. I don't want to think of someone else living in my home, the home I expected to grow old in where my grandkids would visit. Now I am going to have to start all over and hope that by the time I have grandkids I will have a place of my own for them to visit me instead of the nice house I just pay rent for.